As the cost of living rises and loneliness becomes a global concern, communal living is an increasingly popular choice. We meet “intentional community” members to explore the pros and cons.
Living with strangers? Always-occupied toilets, unwashed dishes in the kitchen, and people playing loud music in the room next to yours when you’re trying to sleep?
Maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. As housing and rental costs remain high, and the World Health Organization has declared loneliness a global health concern, communal living is gaining media attention, and community-led living arrangements are becoming more prevalent.
Maybe making a home with others is more good than bad. The question is if society is ready.
Rosie Kellett, 30, is a food writer based in London. She needed a new place to live after a breakup in 2020, and on social media, she discovered an available warehouse – an old industrial building. Kellett estimates that in Hackney Wick, where she lives, there are close to 100 different warehouses communities. But the one she lives in is not like the others. “We’re set up a little differently,” she says.
We try to do [house meetings] as frequently as possible so that if anyone is unhappy with their chores, that does not fester. Rosie Kellett
Kellett lives with six other people in their late 20s and early 30s. Every week, they each put £25 into a shared bank account to cover the cost of household and cooking materials, bin bags, cleaning products and everyone’s dinner. Every night, one person cooks. On a shared group chat, people confirm if they’ll be in for dinner, if they want a late plate saved for when they come home, or if they are bringing a guest.
There are chores and house meetings. “It takes multiple WhatsApp polls to get a window of half an hour when everyone’s in,” Kellett tells the BBC, “but we try to do them as regularly as possible so that if anyone’s unhappy with their chores, or if there’s anything anyone wants to discuss, that doesn’t fester”.
The best thing about living communally, she says, is that there’s always someone around. The housemates feel like a family. “I’ve never felt that way, really, about people I’ve lived with before.” In London, she adds, the housing crises makes it very hard to find a home. “I believe it is becoming increasingly difficult to live a good life here… this feels like we have gotten through the little crack in the system.”
There are drawbacks, too. Kellett has to work hard to ensure she gets some me time. “I can find it quite difficult to tear myself away from a big table full of people,” she says. And even if you opt out of a party, you will still hear it. There are two showers and two toilets, which the housemates share without too much problem, but one washing machine isn’t quite enough.”
People living in the communal warehouse tend to stay for a few years. Other communal living spaces, though, are set up for more permanent living. Creal Zearing, 36, lives in a co-house community with her husband and three-year-old daughter in Madison, Wisconsin, USA.
“My husband bought the first unit that we lived in. “He started looking after we would been dating for about three months,” Zearing tells BBC. “I knew what co-housing was, and I was like, this is cool. If we stay together, I think I will really like it. And sure enough, things have worked out between us.”
The Arbco co-housing estate has two apartment blocks and a handful of single-family houses. Each unit has its own bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. Around 100 people live here, ranging from families with children to single older people. “Technically, our co-house is a condominium association; that is how it is legally structured,” Zearing explains. “We own our home, but we pay a condo fee every month, which helps to subsidise the community spaces that we use and covers some of our home insurance.”
Co-living tips
- Have regular house meetings to address any issues
- Be prepared to put in some work; everyone needs to contribute.
- Make sure you also get time away from your housemates
Residents put on meals every few weeks, and there are social events like a monthly singalong and parties. There is a member meeting every fortnight, and board and committee meetings, too. “I work full time,” Zearing says. “But there are a bunch of people who are retired, and there’s probably more regular stuff that they do together that I miss.” Each resident is expected to contribute four hours of work a month.
“What I really, really value is that we have a great community of parents,” Zearing says. “As a new mother, I have really relied on those parents for advice.” She also loves how she can come home from work, tired, and simply take her daughter out into the backyard to play with other kids. Friends and company are readily available.
Not everything is straightforward, though. The co-house community just had a big meeting about participation. “Many of us who are actively engaged feel like they’re doing all they can do. And yet you see some people who aren’t presumably doing anything,” Zearing says. “But there’s a lot of invisible work that goes on.” Her husband has been burned several times after proposing new ways of doing things and facing opposition.
‘Intentional communities’
The Western world has a diverse range of communal living arrangements that have emerged for a variety of reasons; in the United Kingdom, according to The Guardian, the Covid-19 pandemic contributed to an increase in interest in communal living. The members of one successful communal-living centre in Suffolk told the BBC in 2023 that their set-up was helping to protect them from the cost-of-living crisis.
“It can be really confusing,” says Penny Clark, who is on the board of Diggers and Dreamers, a community-living organisation that specializes in “intentional communities” – homes where five or more unrelated people live voluntarily together, according to academic definition. People in co-housing have their own self-contained homes as well as dedicated communal spaces, and the community is self-managed, she explains, whereas in housing cooperatives, ownership is shared, but the estate does not always feel like an intentional community.
Research shows that people who live in intentional communities have a quality of life as high as the happiest people in society
More people may be turning towards communal living because the housing market is so pressured, Clark says. Some seek it out because they want to be more environmentally sustainable. Of course, in today’s atomized society, where family members may be scattered far and wide from the town where they were born, social connection is an important draw. In fact, research shows that people who live in intentional communities have a quality of life as high as the happiest people in society.
Is this way of living for everyone? “There are certainly compromises,” says Clark. “The work that goes into community life can be overwhelming; sometimes things go wrong, and people leave upset.”
It is also difficult to create a new co-housing community. It’s hard to find land, the financial risks are big, and banks are hesitant to lend money. “We’re in a system that has certain assumptions about what a good life is, and a good home. And communal living does not conform to those assumptions,” Clark explains. “In society, we have this mindset that privacy is good and that owning property is good.” Sharing your living space, she says, is not aspirational. “The idea of a good home is a big house that you own by yourself.”
Meanwhile, existing communities like Arbco gets regular inquiries from people wanting to move in. In London, after Rosie Kellett shared two Instagram videos about her living situation, many people contacted her to see if they could move in. “I felt terrible because we were not taking in new roommates,” she says. “There is definitely a desire for more spaces like this, but you have to organize it for yourself.”